


and they were roommates

by lolamit



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anxiety, Chris is an oblivious fuck but it's ok bc he means well, Demisexuality, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Kevin is demisexual bc i said so, M/M, Mutual Pining, NO ONE IS MORMON bc I couldn't be arsed to do more research lol, Roommates, So much flirting, like guys stop it's annoying, on second thought everyone is an oblivious fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-16
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23167873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolamit/pseuds/lolamit
Summary: oh my god they were roommatesSee, the problem was simple, so simple it bothered Connor more than it would have had Kevin been an objectively bad person. The problem was that Kevin Price did not date. At all. Period. Bish bash bosh, no more questions. The even bigger problem was that Connor McKinley desperately wanted him to.
Relationships: Elder "Connor" McKinley/Kevin Price, Elder Church/Elder Thomas (Book of Mormon Musical)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 58





	and they were roommates

**Author's Note:**

> There are mentions of depression and anxiety disorders, and suggested substance abuse but nothing really happens, just a heads-up!

The heat was unbearable as Connor made his way home after class and he sorely regretted walking instead of driving. Granted his car was a tired piece of shit that couldn’t be trusted to travel more than five miles at a time, but at the very least it had air conditioning. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Florida, it was a decent place with decent people, and it was nice being an hour away from the beach on a good day traffic-wise. But it was the excruciating heat and humidity of being in a subtropical climate that he never seemed to get used to. Growing up in Utah, he was quite accustomed to dry summers and biting winters, not that he missed them that much anyway. There was a reason he’d chosen to move across the country for college after all, and the weather was only the tip of an obnoxiously colossal iceberg he tried to steer clear from.

It was nice though, walking along palm-lined avenues on sun-bleached concrete, cutting through the park next to his apartment complex, it wasn’t the worst thing Connor could imagine. It wasn’t even _that_ bad, once he’d managed to ignore his scorching skin and the sweat trickling down his back. He was definitely going to need a shower before continuing whatever plans he’d forgotten to make for the day. 

He entered the apartment with a slight spring in his step that had appeared out of seemingly nowhere, and as soon as he caught a whiff of the smell coming from the kitchen, he could feel a smile coming on. Kevin was humming to himself as he gracefully flipped a pancake in the air, pleased with himself for catching it in the frying pan as it came down and he wasn’t disheartened when he noticed Connor in his peripheral view.

“Hungry?” he asked casually, to which Connor only nodded. “That’s why you should start putting your schedule on the fridge like the rest of us, I thought you’d be out, only made enough for myself.” 

Kevin’s smile was infectious; once it snuck up on his lips it took less than a heartbeat before it stretched from ear to ear, shamelessly showing off his pearly whites and Connor couldn’t help but smile himself. Attempting to look unfazed as he shot Kevin a bored stare, his voice betrayed him once he decided to answer. “Rude,” he said, voice more breathless than he’d preferred so he cleared his throat and made for the fridge to escape Kevin’s eyes. “Can’t you just, I don’t know, make some more? It’s not like it takes long.” 

Kevin laughed. “Learn to cook, McKinley. I won’t be around forever, you know.”

“That’s why I’m taking advantage of your cooking skills now,” Connor grinned. “Before it’s too late.” Connor didn’t want it to be too late, ever, but he couldn’t let Kevin know that. The man’s smug enough as it is, he did not need another person validating his oblivious – or maybe not so oblivious, Connor wasn’t sure – arrogance. 

Either way, Kevin whipped up some more batter while Connor took the quickest shower of his life and soon they were sat in front of the TV, watching old reruns of Friends as they ate. Kevin didn’t like Friends, because of course he didn’t, the high-and-mighty, obnoxiously proud Kevin Price was above such a popularized show. Then again, Connor wasn’t that big a fan either, but it sure beat watching some documentary about the history of Scandinavian art in a language he not only didn’t know but couldn’t separate from the remaining Scandinavian languages if his life depended on it. Kevin wasn’t cultured; he was just very adept at pretending to be. And Connor was well-practiced in not caring. _Pretending_ not to care, anyhow. 

See, the problem was simple, so simple it bothered Connor more than it would have had Kevin been an objectively bad person. The problem was that Kevin Price did not date. At all. Period. Bish bash bosh, no more questions. The even bigger problem was that Connor McKinley desperately wanted him to. 

“D’ya need anything washed? I’m heading down to the laundry room later,” Kevin called from the kitchen while washing up the dishes. It was safe to say Kevin was the mother of the house, constantly nagging and subconsciously taking care of both Connor and Chris, who neither of them saw that much of anymore since he’d discovered a very new, very fascinating study buddy in his Psych class. Connor didn’t mind though, having someone doing his laundry and making him food was hardly something to complain about. 

“Oh, a bunch,” Connor said, disappearing into his room to retrieve the pile of dirty clothes that had accumulated on his floor over the past weeks. Connor hated laundry, and to his delight, Kevin loved it. 

“Jesus, Con,” Kevin laughed out of bewilderment. “Least you can do is help me carry it downstairs.” 

Connor couldn’t see him over the heap of clothes in his arms, and Kevin tried to the best of his efforts to shepherd him into the elevator and down to the laundry room with an amused _“how do you even have that much clothes, I feel like you wear the same thing every day”_ which Connor replied with a punch in Kevin’s arm that resulted in the clothes dropping to the floor. It didn’t take long before they were both laughing themselves silly, earning curious looks from their neighbors as they left the elevator after hurriedly scrambling the clothes together. 

\--- 

Kevin was loading one of the washing machines while Connor was perched atop another, purposely unhelpful as Kevin knew that Connor McKinley could not, for the love of all that’s holy, operate such an appliance without googling every last detail. He was too busy gossiping to Kevin about how he’d seen Chris very blatantly kiss a guy on campus and then even more blatantly denied any such thing happening. Chris liked to believe he was sneaky with his newfound best friend who was not _at all_ anything more than a buddy, _no way_. To be perfectly frank, he hadn’t the tiniest clue why Chris didn’t just introduce them already, both Kevin and Connor knew Chris was gay – and proudly so – and this whole sneaking around thing felt a bit redundant as time went by. Still, Kevin quite enjoyed seeing Chris smile dumbly at his phone and then play it off like nothing whenever he got asked what was so amusing. The boy didn’t have one discreet bone in his body, so glaringly tactless that it was laughable, really. Not that they did laugh, of course, at least not when he was in the room. 

“How about you?” Kevin asked once Connor had paused long enough for him to interject. “Any luck in the love department lately?”

Connor gave him an incredulous look before screwing up his face in a painfully candid grimace that answered Kevin’s question before his words did. “Don’t be crass.”

“Genuine question, McKinley,” Kevin smirked. “Don’t you think I care about your love life?”

“Oh, assuredly not, _Price_ ,” Connor mocked, eliciting a laugh from Kevin. 

Truth be told, Kevin did care about Connor’s love life, he cared about every aspect of Connor’s life just as he did Chris’s, Arnold’s, Nabulungi’s, he liked caring about people and hell if he wasn’t good at it. But Connor, who gladly shared more details about himself than Kevin even knew existed, was oddly reluctant to talk about romantic endeavors and since Kevin didn’t exactly have a lot to counter with, they usually steered clear of the subject altogether. Needless to say, Connor’s disinclination to discuss the matter only left Kevin slightly more curious than he’d preferred. 

“You’ll find someone to sneak around with eventually,” Kevin said, starting the quickest cycle the washing machine had to offer. “Just promise you won’t be as oblivious about it as Chris. I’m gonna call him out one of these days if he doesn’t just invite the guy over.”

“Don’t you dare. If he wants a cute, secret relationship, he gets a cute, secret relationship.”

“Even though he’s clearly nicking the condoms in your bedside drawer?” Connor spun his head round so fast Kevin thought he might break it, as he seemed unsure whether to narrow his eyes or let them widen with surprise. Before Connor even opened his mouth, Kevin added, “I caught him red-handed when I was going in to clean your room.”

“You _cleaned_ my room?” 

The fact that Connor seemed more shocked about _that_ part almost made Kevin roll his eyes out of amusement. “What, did you think it magically cleans itself once a month?” 

“You clean my room _once a month_?” Connor’s face quickly went from utter shock to humored bewilderment as he stared dumbfoundedly at Kevin. “You really are a mom.”

That time Kevin didn’t refrain from rolling his eyes. “You oughta thank me, really. I know guys are slobs but Jesus, you are a hot mess, Connor McKinley.”

There was a slight twitch in the corner of Connor’s mouth as he jumped down from the machine he’d been sitting on, passing Kevin with a very poorly executed casual face. “Oh, I’m well aware.” 

\--- 

“Guy, what guy?” Chris feigned innocence as Connor gestured to the man clearly making eyes at Chris from across the room. “Oh, that guy? Never seen him before.” 

The knowing look and playful smile on Chris’s lips was enough to drive Connor absolutely insane. “You had your tongue down his throat less than ten minutes ago, Thomas.” 

“What are you on about? I’ve clearly not left your side since we got here.” Chris wasn’t looking at him, no, Chris was too busy staring lovingly at the brown-haired man casually sipping on his drink while he lied right in Connor’s face because Chris had not been by his side since they arrived at the bar twenty minutes ago, Chris had disappeared almost immediately only to be found making out in a booth a while later. “I’m gonna take a lap,” he said when Connor didn’t answer, not even trying to hide that he was in fact headed straight forward with other intentions than _taking a lap_. 

Connor sighed and rolled his eyes, yet he found himself watching as Chris embraced his not-so-secret boyfriend and pulled him in for a chaste kiss. He couldn’t help but feel envious, not of either of the two particularly, but of having someone to intertwine his fingers with and hold in his far too empty arms. Connor hadn’t been on a date in over six months, had sort of given up when he realized every face he kissed morphed into Kevin Price’s as soon as he got it on with anyone, even letting the name slip once which hadn’t been received very well by the guy blowing him. He winced at the memory and downed his drink in a desperate attempt to forget, repress, avoid. 

“Slow down, tiger.” To make things worse, Kevin appeared at his side as if Connor’s unwelcome thoughts had summoned him. “It’s a weeknight.”

Connor’s cheeks flushed pink before he shot Kevin a tired look that quickly turned into a smile when he noticed the grin on Kevin’s lips. _Infectious, right_. Instead of answering, he turned his head back to where Chris was standing, lips caught in a passionate tango while their bodies swayed slowly to the music, completely off rhythm. 

“For goodness sake, let me embarrass him _please_ ,” Kevin laughed. 

Connor, despite Kevin not moving an inch, put a hand on his chest to stop him from taking a single step which Kevin only replied with a humored look. He moved his hand away slowly, probably too slowly as Kevin followed the motion with his eyes until Connor’s arm hung awkwardly at his side, then he flicked his eyes up to meet Connor’s before turning toward the bar without any indication that Connor should follow him. 

So naturally, Connor followed him. 

“What’s your poison?” Kevin asked as they reached the bar, as if he knew Connor would be hot at his heel without even looking. 

“Daiquiri,” Connor said and narrowed his eyes when Kevin ordered two. “You don’t drink,” he said when Kevin turned around, drinks in hand and moving toward a free table.

“No, but you do,” Kevin smirked. “Figured this would save us one trip so that’s like, what, at least four minutes?” 

Connor rolled his eyes and took a seat opposite the man who’d just bought him two drinks without question. He wasn’t sure what to make of it and opted for a sip instead of answering. Kevin watched him but averted his gaze when Connor met his eyes, letting them travel across the room as if he was searching for something or someone and Connor’s mind started to race, trying to think of ways to get his attention back. Kevin leaned back in his seat, probably sensing Connor’s stare as a smile crept up on his lips, still looking out over the crowd of tipsy students celebrating nothing in particular. His hair was neatly styled and the shirt he was wearing was tight enough for Connor to trace his biceps with his eyes. It wasn’t fair, really, that Kevin looked so good without letting anyone reap the rewards of a well-used gym membership and morning runs, and it especially wasn’t fair that Connor had caught him doing shirtless crunches in the living room on more than one occasion. 

Before he caught himself with too indecent thoughts, Connor quickly turned his head round to search the crowd as well, his eyes landing on Chris and the mystery man he’d heard so little about yet seen so much of. “They’re cute, aren’t they?”

Kevin’s eyes flicked back to Connor before focusing on their roommate again. “Disgustingly so.” He turned back to Connor again and eyed the glass that was still full, slowly pushing it toward Connor with an innocent smile on his face.

Connor scowled. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re trying to get me drunk, Price.”

“Why ever would I do that, McKinley?” he smiled playfully before giving in to Connor’s scrutinizing stare. “You talk less when you’re drunk, but you also _say_ so much more than when you’re sober.”

“I do not.”

“Prove me wrong then.”

Connor narrowed his eyes but downed the drink regardless, he was never one to step down from a challenge, after all. 

\--- 

It was just past 2 am when they stumbled through the door to their apartment, Connor propped up by Kevin’s arm as the man was ridiculously clumsy when intoxicated, Kevin was well aware. He placed a giggling Connor gently on the couch before fetching a glass of water from the kitchen. Connor was watching him through blurry eyes as he returned, tilting his head as Kevin waited for him to process whatever thought was going through his head. 

“I’m drunk,” he said after a while, making Kevin laugh at his candor. 

“I hadn’t noticed,” he teased, handing Connor the glass to maybe, hopefully, sober him up somewhat to relieve tomorrow’s hangover, if only a little. 

Connor accepted the water, looking around as he took a sip. “Where’s Chris?”

“We went over this on the way back, Con. Chris left with Mr. Secret.”

Connor’s eyes narrowed as if he didn’t believe him, but quickly resolved into a laugh as he sank down in the couch, his head dangerously close to Kevin’s shoulder.  
Kevin couldn’t help but smile, Connor was perhaps the cutest drunk he’d ever seen, what with the incessant giggles and his lack of self-control. Normally, Kevin didn’t particularly enjoy being around drunk people or even alcohol for that matter, which made life as a student just a little bit harder since everyone he knew seemed to prefer getting pissed on a Thursday night instead of preparing for next week’s lectures. He just didn’t get it, despite having participated in idiotic drinking a few times before college, but he’d never gotten a taste for losing himself to the point where he didn’t even know what he was doing. There were so many better things he could think of doing, things that wouldn’t leave him with a throbbing head or insufferable nausea in the morning, things like talk and laugh and have fun on terms that didn’t require unnecessary substances. Kevin had enough of those as it is. 

As if reading his mind, Connor glanced up and said, “Why don’t you drink?”

“You already know why, I don’t care for it,” Kevin said. “That and the meds.”

Connor nodded slowly, tucking his legs beneath him as he sat cross-legged beside Kevin, nudging him to turn his head too so they were facing each other. Kevin did, with an eyeroll, and raised his brows expectantly as his roommate scanned his face. “The meds make you happy,” he said matter-of-factly, causing Kevin to chuckle quietly. 

“Well, yeah, I guess,” he said, scratching at the back of his neck. For some reason it was both easier and more difficult to talk to Connor while inebriated, because his words were simple and uncomplicated but his eyes were way more telling and it was the only time Kevin felt at a loss for words. And Kevin was never at a loss for words, was never stunned silent or speechless. Kevin could charm the socks off anybody and he wasn’t scared to use it to his advantage, except for when it came to a very drunk, slightly inappropriate Connor McKinley. It wouldn’t be fair enticing him in this state, and it surely wouldn’t be half as fun as when he’s sober and skittish. 

Connor hadn’t taken his eyes off him for a full minute before his head swung round and he turned back with a panicked look on his face. “Where’s Chris?” he asked, and Kevin couldn’t hold back his laugh.

“Again, he went home with his… Friend, or whatever they are.”

“We’re friends,” Connor said, again more matter-of-factly than questioning and Kevin watching him bemusedly, unsure what to make of such an observation. But instead of clarifying, Connor simply stared back and asked, “Aren’t we?” 

“Course we are.” 

Connor’s eyes were locked to Kevin’s lips as he answered. “Good.” 

“Good,” Kevin repeated, the moment so strange yet so familiar and he noticed the way his heart skipped a beat when Connor’s eyes flicked up to his for the shortest of seconds, but he knew better than to accidentally push any buttons that would land him in a mess he wouldn’t be able to clean up after. Even though Connor was leaning in, be it subconsciously or not. Even though Kevin felt himself pull forward and struggle to stay put. Even though there was a slight chance that Connor wouldn’t even remember it tomorrow. 

He pulled back, offering Connor a refill of water as he hurried to the kitchen and steadied his breathing. When he returned, Connor was snoring quietly and Kevin realized just how bad of an idea it would have been to start anything tonight since Connor clearly wasn’t sober enough to make such decisions and the last thing Kevin ever wanted was to take advantage of his roommate’s, what should he say, adoration? 

He found a blanket and gently tucked him in, Connor humming quietly at the warmth and Kevin resisted placing a soft kiss on his forehead. Instead, he found a bucket – the hangover bucket as Connor had suitably named it – and placed it on the floor next to him before heading to bed himself. He didn’t dream about anything that night, and by Kevin’s standards, that was a good thing. 

\--- 

There were very few things that Connor hated, but hangovers were definitely one of them. He groaned loudly as he opened his eyes, the room still spinning and his heartbeat pulsating through his head. Looking around, he noticed he wasn’t in his room, and by the looks of the bucket placed beside the couch, he knew Kevin had been there, though he wasn’t sure for how long, the memories fading blurry in the back of his mind. 

_“Course we are,”_ kept ringing in his head but he couldn’t place the words nor the voice. It could have been Kevin, sure, but then it could have been anyone he ran into last night. Connor had a habit of making all sorts of friends while drunk. 

Still he couldn’t shake the feeling of _something_ , and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know or desperately repress, it could go either way, especially when Kevin was involved. Trying to ignore his curiosity, he picked up his phone to check the time and realized his morning lecture had ended an hour ago. Not that he cared that much, _one_ lecture wouldn’t make him flunk out, although he could already hear Kevin’s voice nagging him for being too lazy or too irresponsible or _blah blah blah_. Connor was responsible, but he was also twenty-two and careless. It wasn’t his fault Kevin had been born a fifty-something mom. 

Just as he was about to try and stand up without throwing up, he heard the lock click and turned his head to see Chris, his t-shirt inside out and his hair _very_ disheveled, almost as if someone had helped him attain the look. 

“You look like shit,” he said, eliciting a wry smile from his roommate. 

“So do you,” Chris replied. “You make it home okay?” 

“Looks like it,” Connor shrugged, not disclosing the fact that he could not remember how exactly he _did_ get home. “I noticed you didn’t though, care to explain where you spent the night?”

Chris only smiled, ignoring the question completely as he made for the kitchen and Connor followed on shaky legs. He poured himself some cereal even though his stomach turned at the very thought and sank down at the kitchen table as Chris hummed happily.

“Is Kevin out?” he asked as he plopped down opposite Connor, a sorry excuse for a lunch on his plate. 

“Think so.”

“So I take it you had fun yesterday?” he smiled. “I mean, the look of utter regret on your face should tell me otherwise, but then again,” he trailed off and Connor chuckled slightly. 

“I did, I think,” he confessed. “You’d think I would have learned when to stop by now, which, clearly I have not. Feel like I’m gonna be sick.”

“You look it too,” Chris smirked, and Connor shot him a challenging look.

“Your shirt’s on backwards, Romeo. Don’t think you can avoid _that_ conversation.”

“Oh, whatever are you talking about, Con,” Chris sang, way too proud for being so very unsubtle. 

“Just drop the act already, you’re seeing someone and the entire world knows it so just tell me, who is this guy?” Connor nudged him encouragingly but Chris wouldn’t budge. 

“You’re nosy.”

“You’re in love.”

Chris smiled at that, and Connor took it as an answer since Chris undoubtedly wouldn’t give him a verbal one. It was fine if Chris was taking things slow, except he’d spent far too many nights away for that to be plausible, so Connor had the right to feel vexed. They were best friends, for god’s sake, but he knew Chris would come around eventually and in the meantime, he was just happy his friend had found someone who seemed to love him the way he deserved. 

Chris was an odd person, after all, in all the best ways of course, and his heart was always in the right place. Connor probably wouldn’t have survived the move from Utah to Orlando if Chris hadn’t been by his side through it all, and he was forever grateful for that, even to the point where he could let Chris sneak around with a boy and act as if nothing were going on between them. Chris had been there through highs and lows and nothing changed that, they were still close even if Chris spent less time at the apartment. However, Connor still hadn’t confessed his feelings for their third roommate, and he wasn’t exactly sure why since he knew Chris would be understanding and helpful, maybe _too_ helpful, a part of him feared. Chris liked to consider himself a wingman, which was adorable because Chris couldn’t even flirt for himself, let alone for someone else. 

Connor decided he would tell him about it though, sometime when his head didn’t feel like it was about to explode. 

He made for the shower once he’d finished his cereal, the water pleasantly warm as he stepped inside and he lost himself in the steam for a moment before reaching for his shampoo bottle on a shower rack packed with products. One bottle was his own. Another one was Chris’s. The rest you wonder, well the remaining eight bottles belonged to the one and only Kevin Price and Connor couldn’t be bothered to find out what they were all for. 

When he stepped out, he could hear Kevin’s voice from the next room and he wrapped a towel around his waist before heading out of the bathroom, catching Kevin’s eyes in the process. 

Kevin looked him up and down before speaking. “Don’t you look spry. I’m surprised you’re up yet, it’s only two in the afternoon, that’s gotta be a record.”

Connor shot him a grimace as he made his way to his room for some clean clothes and he was happily reminded Kevin had done his laundry just a few days ago, so he could actually pick something instead of opting for the only clean shirt. He pulled on some sweatpants and a tee, not bothering to fix his hair as he had no intention to leave the apartment today.

\--- 

Kevin was perched on the couch going over his notes for tomorrow’s exam when the doorbell rang. With a sigh, he got on his feet and walked over, only to find a certain brown-haired mystery man in the stairwell. A blush flashed across the man’s face and Kevin found it far too amusing than he should that the guy was probably expecting Chris to open.

“Uh, sorry, I must have the wrong num-“

“Chris!” Kevin interrupted as he called his roommate over. “You’re date’s here.”

Chris emerged from his bedroom with a telling smile on his face that completely contradicted the words leaving his mouth. “James, what a nice surprise,” he said, seemingly very keen to invite his _friend_ inside before he turned to Kevin who had retreated back to the couch. “We’re gonna go, um, study in my room.” 

Kevin sneered. That information was entirely pointless since a) Kevin didn’t exactly care, and b) it was so clearly a complete lie. “Yeah, well, coming from someone who’s actually trying to study,” he said, “try to keep it down, will ya?”

Chris didn’t answer but the look on his face made Kevin believe he’d be better off in the library if he wanted to get any work done. But he was too comfortable on the couch to bother and figured he could just put some music on if, God forbid, he heard _one_ moan or groan or- whatever people sound like when they have sex. 

He turned his focus back to his notebook, going over the same questions for the eighth time and acing every single one. Kevin had always been good at studying, which his friends often teased was the equivalent of being a nerd but Kevin didn’t mind. Why would he feel embarrassed about being good at something, about getting straight A’s and graduating as valedictorian? He’d go through life with the wind in his back if teaching was as simple as learning. 

Kevin had known he wanted to become a teacher at the age of seven when he started second grade and got the most amazing and understanding teacher, Mrs. Liebermann, he could have ever asked for. She was kind, patient, and saw potential beyond Kevin’s behavior in class because even though Kevin had always been good at studying, his self-esteem and anxiety had often kept him from excelling his first few years in school. Mrs. Liebermann was the first teacher to pick up on his anxious tendencies and a year later he was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, and though reluctant at first, Kevin quickly found that therapy and medication made things easier somehow. It wasn’t very comprehensible when he was eight or nine or ten, but as the years went by, his life had done a complete 180 that left him confident – although sometimes obnoxiously so – and determined. 

Once he reached high school though – or maybe it was puberty that set it off – his mental health took a dip as he had his first brush with depression. Kevin could still remember it clear as day and recalled how once he’d recovered, he’d been happy that it happened during summer break since he probably wouldn’t have been able to perform very well had it happened during a semester. Thankfully though, because of his preexisting diagnosis – and his family’s insurance – he got the necessary help pretty fast or so he thought, and he once again found himself relying on medication and therapy. His psychiatrist had told him that the pressure Kevin put on himself was partly the reason he’d been depressed in the first place and that it was okay to prioritize health above grades. Kevin agreed, verbally at least.  
It was better now though, and sure, his issues were never completely gone, always lurking, and though his depression rarely showed anymore, the anxiety had easier to break through the cracks during stressful points in his life which was less than helpful, since college was notoriously not stressful _at all_. Still he thought he was handling it quite well. 

Once he’d started going over his notes a ninth time, Connor’s door jerked open and Kevin watched as his roommate made his way over to Chris’s room. 

“I wouldn’t do that,” Kevin said casually as Connor’s hand stopped midair reaching for the doorknob. Connor shot him a confused look as Kevin clarified. “He’s got company.” 

Connor’s eyes widened as if Kevin had told him the identity of the zodiac killer. “Mr. Secret?” he almost whispered in a mix of disbelief and curiosity. 

“I think we oughta start calling him James,” Kevin laughed. “Although Chris could’ve pulled the first name he thought of, so don’t quote me on that.”

Connor considered him for a moment before leaning in and pressing his ear to the door. 

“Connor McKinley, are you _eavesdropping_?” Kevin watched in bemusement and slight dread. 

“I just wanna hear what they’re talking- oh,” Connor’s eyes grew even wider, if possible, as he jerked away from the door, his cheeks flushing a bright pink. “They are _not_ talking.”

Kevin offered an amused look as Connor hurried over to the couch, sinking down next to Kevin. “What did you expect?” he asked, a grin forming on his lips as Connor waved him off dismissively. 

“What was he like?” 

“Awkward,” Kevin said and Connor slapped his arm with a _that’s not nice_ clear as day on his face. “I barely spoke to the guy, Con. They were kinda eager to be alone.”

Connor leaned back in the couch, crossing his arms over his chest, one finger tapping impatiently as he chewed his lip in thought. Kevin couldn’t help but watch, a pondering Connor was a very rare and very enjoyable sight. If you were Kevin Price, so to speak. 

“I’m gonna sit here until they come out,” Connor said, eyes resting on Chris’s door. “It’s one thing for Chris to sneak off to somewhere, but if he’s bringing him here, well that’s his mistake.” 

“Sound a bit jealous there,” Kevin teased and the offended look he got in response was more comforting than it probably should have been. 

Hours went by as Chris’s door stayed shut, Connor still watching it closely from the couch while Kevin alternated between studying, cooking dinner, listening to Connor speculating about what their roommate was up to, and then studying some more. Connor refused to leave the sofa even for dinner and Kevin begrudgingly brought the carbonara to the TV, much to Connor’s delight as they watched the real housewives of _insert city here_. 

“How long are they gonna be in there?” Connor whined when Kevin returned from washing the dishes, the clock nearing ten without any sight of Chris and James. 

“They can probably sense your presence,” Kevin smiled. “You know, Chris does seem to have a spidey-sense for confrontation.”

“But they have to _eat_ ,” Connor said, “or go to the bathroom or, I don’t know, _something_.” 

Kevin felt himself smile at Connor’s total devastation that he maybe, probably wasn’t going to get to meet Chris’s not-so-secret boyfriend tonight after all. “You could always knock,” he suggested to which Connor shot him a pointed glare, making Kevin raise his hands in defeat. 

As the minutes ticked by, Kevin knew he should get ready to head to bed soon yet something made him go over his notes a twelfth time as Connor slumped down, resting his head on Kevin’s shoulder with a loud yawn. Kevin watched his blinking get slower through his peripheral view, a bit surprised as Connor usually stayed up far later than Kevin ever did, but he didn’t mind losing an hour or two of sleep when he found himself in this position, never mind when Connor readjusted and laid down with his head on Kevin’s lap whispering a quiet _can I?_ that Kevin was far too eager to allow. He knew Connor was a physically affectionate person, knew that Connor liked hugs and cuddling and getting too close for some people’s preferences, but he never knew that included Kevin, and even more, he never knew it could feel so _comforting_ being so close to someone. 

Kevin never cared much for intimacy, until now, apparently. 

A few minutes later, Chris’s door opened slowly and Kevin was caught in between not wanting to give off the wrong message, what with _Connor’s head on his lap_ , and acting as if this was a completely normal thing for roommates to do. Chris stopped for a moment when he noticed them, his face – for once – unreadable.

“He ok?” he whispered, gesturing to a sleeping Connor. 

“Yeah,” Kevin said quietly as he glanced down, resisting the urge to brush a lock of hair from his face. “Just tired, I think.” 

Chris tilted his head slightly as James emerged behind him, and he seemed to remember why they’d left Chris’s room before being distracted by the scene in front of him. He followed James to the door and Kevin refrained from mentioning Connor’s excitement, if not desperation, to confront the two and finally meet the mystery guy he’d never been introduced to. 

Kevin could tell Chris another time, at this moment he wanted nothing more than to stay perfectly still as Connor dreamed beside him. At this moment, nothing else seemed as important. 

\--- 

Connor couldn’t really remember how he ended up sleeping with his head resting on Kevin Price’s lap, and he’d been so tired when Kevin woke him up so gently in the middle of the night because he needed to sleep a few hours if he were going to be able to stay awake through his exam. Connor hadn’t thought much of it then, he’d barely even registered the time, but once he’d made it to his own bed and picked up his phone to set an alarm for the morning, he realized it was past four. Kevin Price usually went to bed at eleven, ever the goody-two-shoes, and Connor couldn’t fathom why he’d stayed awake for so long especially with something so important the next day. He felt a little bad about it, because Kevin had said he didn’t want to wake him, but Kevin usually had no problem being overtly direct and brutally honest with Connor, so why hadn’t he been last night?

He decided not to think about, as his brain had already worn itself out by overanalyzing every little thing Kevin did the following day. The way he was _still_ studying at the breakfast table, the way he didn’t jab at Connor for practically falling asleep in his cereal bowl which would normally be cause for endless teasing, the way he entered the apartment around lunch to announce that he’d absolutely aced the exam and then disappeared into his room to get an early start on next semester’s reading. He seemed normal, but also not and it left Connor in a flurry of confusion, desire, and uncertainty. 

Which was partly why Connor found himself tongue-tied when Kevin walked into the kitchen that night, later than he usually would, despite last night’s exception, and it took him a moment to collect himself before even acknowledging his roommate’s presence. 

“Still up?” he said once he’d finally regained his composure. 

“Yeah,” Kevin flashed him a far too brief smile for Connor’s liking. “Just getting ready for bed, gotta take my meds and all.” 

He reached for the cabinet on the far left and grabbed three pill bottles that Connor knew existed, yet still wasn’t entirely sure what purpose they served. He knew Kevin has anxiety from time to time, he knew Kevin had probably told him at some point but he couldn’t, and not for lack of trying, remember what the other meds were for, and he felt bad asking. 

“You probably shouldn’t be keeping those in the kitchen by the way, someone might nick a few,” he said instead, and he couldn’t help but notice how his cheeks flushed when Kevin shot him a playful grin back.

“If you’re talking about yourself, I am not the least bit concerned. I’ve seen you trying to swallow an aspirin, Con.” Connor winced slightly and tried to hide it with an eye-roll. It was honestly quite ironic how he’d practically trained his gag reflex away yet couldn’t swallow a pill if his life so depended on it. And it might, one day. Guess he’d just cross that bridge once he got to it, or just surrender, yeah, that seemed like the likelier option. 

“Maybe I was talking about Chris,” he said, watching Kevin fill a glass of water with a quiet scoff.

“If Chris so much as opens this cupboard, he’s a dead man. You can quote me on that,” he laughed. “Besides, he’s barely here anymore, is he? Lucky bastard.” Connor had to do a quick double-take as Kevin uttered the last two words. Since when did Kevin Price envy _anyone_ in a relationship? 

He watched as Kevin took a sip of the water before popping three pills in and swallowing hard, his Adam’s apple moving in his throat. Connor almost blushed because of how hot it made him feel.

“You know you’re the only person I know who puts water in before the pills, sicko.” He shook his head, more in an attempt to erase the increasingly vulgar thoughts in his mind but Kevin seemed to take it more literally. 

“I don’t like to feel them on my tongue,” he shrugged, and the sheepish smile on his face quickly turned mischievous. “And you’re one to talk, at least I don’t put ice in my cereal.”

Connor gasped dramatically, feigning a scowl that might carry some actual displeasure. “Hey, that was one time,” he said. “And I told you that in confidence.”

“And that was your mistake.” 

Connor rolled his eyes at Kevin’s proud grin and watched as his roommate put the bottles back in the cupboard before leaning against the counter, seemingly not going anywhere, so Connor decided to stay as well. “How can you bear taking them anyway?” he found himself asking, realizing a mere second later what an incredibly stupid question it was. 

His regret only amplified as Kevin shot him a somewhat surprised look. “How do you think I’d bear not taking them? I’d be a nervous bundle of depression, you’d prefer that?” he asked and the words probably held more truth than his smile let on. “I know I’m less of a pain in the ass depressed, but damn McKinley.”  
Connor winced, trying to convey the remorse as best he could. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I’m messing, Connor,” Kevin was still smiling, only somewhat more understanding now and Connor knew he noticed the regret in his eyes because Connor could practically see the switch in Kevin’s head labeled _mom_ being flicked on as he tilted his head, concern clouding his eyes. Kevin’s hand reached out but stopped midair as Connor was not standing close enough to touch and instead, he opted for the glass of water on the countertop. Connor wasn’t sure what to make of it and decided to say nothing before Kevin broke the silence. “Look, my mental health isn’t as much of a sore spot as you think it is. It’s only taboo if you let it be.”

Connor found it hard to believe his words, how could his mental health _not_ be a sore spot? Connor didn’t have any mental disorders – at least not diagnosed – and even _he_ thought his psychological wellbeing was a sore spot.

“I guess,” he said at last, still feeling like an idiot and a half.

Kevin brushed the topic aside however, a smile growing on his lips. “Well, I see you have no plans on sleeping soon,” he said, gesturing to Connor’s late-night snack. “Do you ever sleep? I mean, I know communication studies are notoriously chill, but jeez, don’t you have _any_ classes?”

Connor wanted to point out that Kevin had witnessed him sleeping less than twenty-four hours ago, but opted for, “I have classes, I just don’t go to bed at ten like a twelve-year-old,” instead, feeling the guilty weight being lifted off his chest when Kevin laughed. 

“Harsh,” he smiled before turning his attention to Connor’s plate on the countertop. “Well, enjoy your… I _would_ say snack but that implies it looks even remotely edible,” he teased. “You really oughta learn how to cook, McKinley. What with a degree in communications, your only chance of survival is probably becoming a trophy husband.”

Connor screwed up his face but couldn’t hide the small laugh escaping his lips. “Says the future teacher.”

“Touché, McKinley,” he said as he started toward his bedroom, turning around before opening the door and Connor realized he’d been staring. “Night, Con.”

Connor smiled. “Night, Kev.”

\--- 

“James Church.” Kevin stared questioningly at Chris who’d suddenly appeared in front of the TV, and by the looks of it, Connor was just as befuddled, or perhaps annoyed at someone blocking his view, as he scrunched up his forehead. Chris’s eyes flicked between his roommates on the couch before elaborating. “That’s his name, James Church.”

“Are we supposed to just understand who you’re talking about?” Kevin asked, grinning. He knew. It was hard not to when Chris’s cheeks flushed, clearly not liking the situation despite being the one who initiated it. 

Connor shot him a brief glance and Kevin noticed the twitch in his lips as he turned his head back to Chris. “Yeah, really Thomas, you’re gonna have to be more specific.”

Chris rolled his eyes with a loud groan, staring daggers at both of them. “The guy- _my guy_ ,” he sighed and Kevin knew he would have hated the taunting just as much as Chris did, but it was just too amusing watching him squirm for once. He’d evaded this conversation for months now so to be fair, he deserved a little teasing. “My boyfriend,” he said after a moment, exhaling a deep breath as his lips curled into an involuntary smile. 

Kevin smiled too, and as happy Chris finally telling them made him, he was even happier that Chris couldn’t hide the grin on his face even if he tried to. “About time,” he said. “So when do we get to meet him? For real this time.”

Connor nearly fell off the couch as he chimed in. “Yeah, no locking him in your room for six hours!” he blurted impatiently. Kevin found it adorable. “You should invite him over for dinner, Kevin can cook something nice, right, Kev?”

“Sure,” Kevin shrugged. “I was gonna make pesto tonight, is he an Italian food kinda guy, because if not I’m not sure I can allow him in anymore.”

Connor shot him a quick glare. “He’s _always_ welcome,” he said with way too much emphasis on always to have considered those implications. Kevin wanted to point out that Connor most assuredly did not want him here _always_ , but Connor continued before he had even finished the thought. “Will you invite him?”

Chris who hadn’t interjected once was watching the two of them, chewing his lip in thought as he glanced out the window when they stared expectantly. Kevin wasn’t sure why he was so reluctant to introduce them to James, why he had spent months practically denying their relationship right in front of their faces. He didn’t understand how someone so obviously in love didn’t just scream it at the top of their lungs for all the world to hear.

Then his eyes drifted to Connor, and he immediately took back every single word. 

“Fine,” Chris said, pulling Kevin back from his thoughts. “Fine, but don’t- Don’t make it weird, please.” 

Connor gasped dramatically but grinned when Chris gave him a pointed look. “We’ll be civil.”

Kevin agreed but said nothing because Chris had already fished his phone out of his pocket and walked off into his bedroom as Kevin could hear him say _hey babe_ before closing the door behind him. Connor was basically bouncing beside him, excitement spilling out of his ears as he tapped his fingers against his knees. There was something so innocent about him in that moment, something so pure about his enthusiasm that Kevin didn’t think fit Connor at all, yet it made his entire body tingle as Connor turned to him with a mischievous smile. His eyes sparkled and Kevin was drowning in the blue as Connor opened his mouth to speak. 

“It’s happening,” he whispered, eliciting a laugh from Kevin who barely managed to stay above the surface in Connor’s ocean eyes. 

“Chris said not to make it weird,” Kevin reminded. “That was weird, Con.”

Connor rolled his eyes with an exasperated yet amused sigh. “Oh, don’t even get me started on weird, Price. I’ve got an entire arsenal in that department.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Kevin gave him an incredulous look that Connor seemed to take more like a challenge. 

“Careful what you wish for,” he winked, “you might just be on the receiving end one day.”

Kevin involuntarily licked his lips. Connor blatantly watched. 

Four hours later, the doorbell rang and Chris was out of his room in less than a second, racing toward the door only to realize Connor beat him to it. Kevin knew despite not being within eyeshot of the front door because Connor’s voice echoed through the entire complex as he welcomed James inside. A slightly annoyed Chris could soon be heard as well, and Kevin thought he could make out a third voice that he kinda, sorta remembered from the other day. He considered popping out of the kitchen and introducing himself but decided that he could do that once dinner was ready. That way he could avoid the awkward tension that Connor most definitely would force upon the couple, not because he wanted to but because Connor easily gets a little too excited in ways that don’t always come across as excitement. That, and being nosy. Connor liked knowing people’s business and though Kevin would say he had a right to be nosy in this case, he didn’t think neither Chris nor James would be that quick to agree. 

When the food was ready, he took the baking dish out of the oven and he didn’t even have to call the others over as Chris must have picked up on the smell of pesto filling the apartment, hurriedly pulling James by the hand and into the kitchen. Kevin took the opportunity to introduce himself, even though they had met before, he realized they’d never exchanged names and he felt a bit bad about it. Worried that James had found him rude, he made sure to be just a tad nicer than he usually was around his roommates. 

“Smells amazing,” James said as they all sat down and Kevin accepted the compliment with a smile. “Chris praises your food constantly and now I really get why.”

Kevin noticed Chris’s elbow nudge James’s side gently, rolling his eyes in the process and completely ignoring Kevin’s amused, if not surprised look. “Does he now?” he laughed. “How come I never get to hear these appraisals?” 

“Because then you’d never shut up about it,” Chris said, with a confident smirk and nervous eyes, as he turned to James. “Which is why we don’t compliment Kevin. Goes straight to his head.”

James seemed unsure whether to laugh or not and shot his boyfriend an inquisitive look, but when Chris only replied with an amused _what?_ , James turned back to Kevin with a challenging smile and a glint of mischief in his eyes. “Well, the food smells fantastic and I’m sure it’ll taste amazing and it was very kind of you to cook,” he said while Chris let out a loud, exasperated scoff as he continued, “and the apartment is very nice, Chris tells me you do most of the cleaning and I mean, this place is immaculate, I can’t believe how you put up with- well, I can’t speak for Connor but I know Chris is a bit of work and-“

“Okay,” Chris interjected, his hand covering James’s now laughing mouth. “You made your point, very funny. Ha ha.”

“I enjoyed it,” Kevin smiled, only a bit bewilderedly. “Thank you very much, James.”

“Of course _you_ did,” Chris sighed. “We’re never gonna hear the end of this now, babe, do you realize what you’ve done.”

James shrugged innocently and Kevin glanced over at Connor by his side, who had been suspiciously quiet for longer than Kevin was comfortable with. Connor wasn’t quiet, and he worried something was wrong. “You alright, Con?” he asked, trying to sound less concerned and more inviting. 

Connor gave him a quick glance before smiling. “Absolutely,” he sang. “And the food really _does_ smell great. You’ve outdone yourself, Price.”

Chris let out an even deeper sigh as he shoveled some pasta onto his plate, taking the liberty to do so since no one else had made a move for the dish, despite all the kind words. “Jesus, not you too, Connor.” 

The tension wasn’t at all as awkward as Kevin had anticipated. James was funny and relaxed and surprisingly easy to talk to, which made Kevin wonder why they hadn’t been introduced much sooner. They talked about how Chris and James had first met in their Psych class and how Chris had been not-so-discreet when he chose the seat next to James, asking to borrow a pencil that James gladly lent him. Chris then proceeded to take notes on his laptop, and when James asked why he needed a pencil, Chris had brushed him off. The next day he’d once again opted for the chair next to James and offered the pencil back with a not-so-subtle _forgot to give this back to you_ that he clearly only kept as an excuse to sit beside him again. Chris liked to consider himself a good flirter, James thought his attempts were ridiculously adorable and ended up inviting him over to _study_ , the term quickly becoming code for something entirely different, which is why either of the two could keep a straight face whenever Kevin or Connor even mentioned the word. 

They were cute, disgustingly so, but Kevin was beyond happy that Chris had found someone who made him smile as much as James did. He even blushed when Connor reminisced about that time Chris had asked a girl to prom and then spent the entire evening silently begging Connor to help him get out of dancing with her, and Chris was rarely caught flustered. Kevin noticed their interlocked hands as they’d all finished, and when he stood to clear the table, James instantly offered to help. 

Once they were done with the dishes, Kevin assumed the couple would be off, but James simply plopped down next to Chris again and the conversation picked right back up. 

“Would you like anything to drink?” Connor asked, already on his way to the fridge. “Wine, beer, I think there might even be some coolers left from- I don’t even know when.”

“Oh, uh, no thank you,” James said awkwardly, as if he’d been caught off guard. “I don’t drink.”  
Connor had already pulled out a bottle of white as a surprised and slightly apologetic expression flashed over his face. “Oh god, sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to assume.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine!” James quickly reassured with a smile. “I don’t mind if you guys drink, I just don’t, well, drink myself.”

“Neither does Kevin,” Chris said, squeezing James’s hand. “But I can go for a glass.”

Connor was still standing by the fridge awkwardly, his brain not snapping him back to reality until he met Kevin’s gaze. He grabbed two wine glasses and handed one to Chris as he sat back down, and Kevin made sure to keep an eye on how many refills both of them poured. 

Thankfully, James seemed to be doing the same and exchanged a knowing smile with Kevin when he noticed. For some reason it calmed him, knowing that James didn’t drink and could look out for Chris on nights out. That way Kevin could focus on getting Connor home in one piece, which was not as easy as it sounded most of the time. 

The night came to an end when Kevin noticed the clock nearing midnight. He had class at eight tomorrow and as much as he was enjoying the company, he was not going to lose more hours of sleep than necessary and excused himself to the bathroom to get ready. When he walked back out, Chris and James had left for James’s place since he lived alone – Kevin was very thankful for this because the walls in their apartment were paper-thin – while Connor was still sat at the table finishing his glass of wine. Kevin grabbed the bottle to put it back in the fridge as he walked past him before taking his meds but stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed the bottle was empty. 

“This was half full when I left,” he said sharply, and Connor waved a hand dismissively without looking at him. “Tell me Chris helped you finish it at least,” he moved to catch Connor’s eyes, but they kept evading him. “Connor, what the hell, it’s a Tuesday and you have class in the morning, right?”

“Seminar,” Connor said casually, only vexing Kevin more. 

“Compulsory or not?”

“Does it matter?”

“Connor,” Kevin said, more concern in his voice than agitation which frankly took more effort than he’d care to admit. “Are you okay? I mean, is this a problem?” He gestured to the glass still in Connor’s hand. 

“It’s fine,” Connor sighed, his eyes resting on a spot outside the window as Kevin desperately sought their attention. “It’s not like I’ll get drunk on one bottle anyway.”

Kevin watched him carefully. Something felt very off and the fact that he couldn’t pinpoint it instantly made him worry even more. Connor seemed so apathetic, the words calm and monotone as he spoke, no cheery humming or playful intonation, just plain, steady and completely out of character. Kevin didn’t know what to do, feeling utterly helpless as he wasn’t sure what exactly Connor needed in this situation, and by some sort of blind initiative, he grabbed the glass out of his roommate’s hand and emptied it in the sink. 

Connor barely acknowledged it, giving him a bored look and an indifferent, “Unnecessary,” before standing up and leaving for his bedroom. As the door shut, Kevin’s brain turned back on and he stood there – for at least ten minutes, just staring blindly at Connor’s door – before turning around to grab his medication from the cupboard. Water first, pills second, _sicko_. Kevin wanted to smile but found it nearly impossible. 

He didn’t sleep very well that night.

\--- 

It was a beautiful Friday morning as Connor rose from his bed. He hadn’t slept at all, too much on his mind to even try to relax, and he reckoned he’d be better not skipping class two days in a row despite the very strong urge to do so. It wasn’t that he didn’t like his classes, it was fine and mildly interesting, it was more the whole routine of waking up, going to class, studying, planning the future and repeat until the day he graduated and would find himself all grown up with responsibilities. The thought scared the living shit out of Connor. 

It was easier for his roommates; they at least had an idea of what they wanted to do after college. Kevin was going to be a teacher and Chris was probably going to be some sort of psychiatrist. Meanwhile, Connor was majoring in communications and media and still had no idea what on earth that meant. _It’s a broad field_ , he’d tell people who asked, _kinda hard to explain really_. 

He wasn’t sure it was a good fit but he couldn’t be bothered to do anything about it either, and in all honesty, the dilemma weighed him down more than he wanted to admit, and he was pretty sure his friends were picking up on it too. Kevin had been especially cautious the day after James had been over for dinner, but he soon returned to normal when he noticed Connor did as well. He wasn’t completely sure why he’d downed half a bottle of wine after Chris and James left either, probably something to do with having a career crisis at twenty-two and rethinking every decision he’s ever made, but he wasn’t about to tell Kevin that. Lord knows the man would get unnecessarily worried and force him to talk about feelings he’d rather keep hidden. Kevin cared so much that it annoyed Connor at times, because he only cared in platonic ways and it really wasn’t fair when Connor’s care went way beyond friendly. 

The apartment was quiet as he opened his bedroom door, and he assumed Kevin was out already as he made for the bathroom. 

“Oh!” he jumped when finding a shirtless Kevin Price in front of the mirror but was fast to recover as Kevin shot him an amused grin. Normally when walking in on your roommate’s morning routine, it was advisable to leave them to it and wait your turn, but then again, Connor’s relationship with Kevin didn’t feel _normal_ , so he casually strode inside, reaching past his roommate’s watching eyes to grab his toothbrush. “Morning,” he said when Kevin looked at him expectantly. 

Kevin continued with his as Connor silently watched him, brushing his teeth despite not having had breakfast yet. Kevin didn’t need to know that. 

“You know, you have a very detailed skincare routine for someone who doesn’t even date,” he said after pushing Kevin aside to rinse his mouth. 

“Well, I’m not trying to look good for anyone but myself, unlike others,” Kevin was smirking at him in the mirror when he looked back up. “I mean, God gifted me with this face, the least I can do is take care of it.” His eyes were back to his cocky, obnoxiously self-aware – and undeniably sexy – gaze, looking Connor up and down before reaching out to slide his thumb across Connor’s cheek. “You should try it sometime, you’re looking a little dry.” 

Connor slapped away his hand with an eye-roll. “Funny.”

“Really though,” Kevin shrugged and turned back to the mirror, “we share a bathroom, Connor, you can use my products if you want.”

Connor watched as Kevin worked what he assumed was moisturizer into his skin, but then Connor didn’t know any other types of skincare products, so really it could be anything. “You say share. Chris and I share about a third, rest is on you,” he said, completely ignoring the fact that he had no reason to stay in there any longer than he already had. “And forgive me for not having your striking features.”

Kevin’s lips flashed a smile. “Blessing and a curse.”

“I’ll bet.”

Connor bit his lip just as Kevin met his eyes through the mirror, and a quiet laugh escaped his lips. “I swear to God if you’ve used up all the hot water, I will kill you,” Kevin said, despite the fact that he’d been in there longer than Connor and by the looks of his hair, had clearly had a shower recently. If anyone would have used up the hot water, it would have been Kevin. 

Connor didn’t say that though, instead he took the rare opportunity of being the one to correct Kevin for once and not the other way around. “That’s not how it works, there’s no limit on hot water. It’s just gonna land us with a heftier rent,” he said, Kevin’s face challenging in the mirror. “And I’m not even going to mention that you’ve kept the tap on for a full minute without even washing your face. You might wanna save _some_ water for the rest of us.”

“Know-it-all,” Kevin grinned, “Besides, I’ve devoted my life to one good cause, can’t I be spared from the others. I can’t cure cancer _and_ end hunger, a man’s only human.”

Connor raised his eyebrows with a scoff. “Jesus, talk about hubris.”

“Yeah, well I _have_ devoted my life to help kids learn,” he pointed out, reaching for the one towel dangerously close to Connor’s face instead of the ones closer to himself, and grinned as he continued, “People like you kinda need the altruism to hide behind, so you have to care about the environment, and the animals, and keeping the oceans clean and all that light stuff. Doing anything about though, now that’s a completely different question.” 

Kevin patted his skin dry as Connor scowled. “I’ll have you know I do plenty for the environment,” he said, eliciting a knowing, if slightly condescending twitch in his roommate’s lips.

“You drive a diesel car, hon.”

“Well, at least I have a license,” Connor countered without even acknowledging what Kevin had just called him, even though his heart was doing backflips in his chest. 

“You’re really gonna chastise me for not driving during a discussion about the environment?” Kevin said, the look in his eyes making Connor believe he noticed his own slip-up as well. “Besides, I’d be an excellent driver if I ever took my test.”

Connor clicked his tongue with a smirk. “I’ll bet.”

Kevin watched him for a moment, careful not to let his eyes drop and Connor was struggling with the same task. It wasn’t fair. Kevin was shirtless and his hair a damp mess while Connor was fully dressed – in a t-shirt and sweatpants at least – with a less than flattering bedhead, if anyone had the right to sneak a glance it was Connor, surely. 

Kevin caught himself after a moment, realizing the towel was still in his hand and he reached back to place it beside Connor, the loop to hang it with – already worn to its last remaining threads – tearing as he hung it, and he turned a sharp eye at Connor despite being the one that broke it himself. “What have I told you about the towels! Don’t hang them back with force or the straps will come off, for goodness sake. This is a perfectly fine towel and now we have nowhere to hang it. Unless…,” he tried, in an attempt Connor couldn’t call anything but adorable, to tie the torn loop on one side with the equally torn one on the other into a makeshift double strap but failed, unsurprisingly. “Nope, not going to work. You see what you’ve done?”

Connor offered an endearing smile disguised as a bored stare. “Relax, I’ll stop by bed & bath on the way home.”

Kevin’s eyes quickly turned playful again as the corner of his lips twitched upward. “And buy _new_ towels?” he said with a teasing expression. “When we have sufficient ones at home? Don’t you think about the _environment_ , McKinley? Don’t you realize how consumerism is one of the biggest causes of climate change and that we’re destroying our planet by contributing to it? Do you even know where those towels are _made_? They’re probably shipped in from some third-world country where the workers aren’t paid a livable wage and you were just going to buy _new_ ones? I hate to break it to you, Connor McKinley, but you’re a hypocrite.”

Connor blinked, wanting to hide the shocked, if not impressed look on his face as Kevin was blatantly gloating. “Wow,” he snorted, “you’re real proud about that one, huh.” 

Kevin responded with an eyebrow waggle that Connor pretended not to care for. “I’m kinda surprised you’re even up at this hour,” he said, turning back to finish his routine. “It’s a rare sight.”

Connor shrugged. “I haven’t slept yet.” 

“Are you fucking serious?” Kevin’s head snapped round and Connor was slightly shocked by the profanity. “It’s six-thirty, Connor, that’s insane.”

“It’s fine,” Connor resisted rolling his eyes again.

“You know, I thought living with other students would be good for me, but I swear to God if you get m to indulge in your bad habits,” Kevin trailed off, his eyes alternating between looking concerned, bewildered, and amused. “So how does this work, are you gonna go to bed and waste an entire day or are you gonna spend it like a zombie?”

Connor scoffed.

“You really should sleep, you know.” A grin crept up on Kevin’s face and soon that infectious smile was big and wide and _teasing_ as he reached his hand toward Connor’s face, a soft finger pressing lightly against the skin under his eyes as he whispered, “You got some circles.”

“Oh, piss off,” Connor waved him off and made for the door, his face burning from the touch. He could hear Kevin laugh to himself as he left and decided to take refuge in his room until his skin didn’t make him feel the urge to run back and pin Kevin against the wall. 

He ended up skipping class after all. 

\--- 

Connor was sat on the couch when Kevin got home, shooting him a brief glance and a mumble Kevin assumed meant _hello_. He seemed off again, like he had more and more often the past week, and to be quite frank, it worried Kevin. A lot. 

He walked over, plopping down next to Connor in the hopes that his roommate would cheer up by his company. Connor didn’t, he barely glanced up from his phone and silently scrolled through what Kevin thought looked like his Instagram feed. 

“You hungry?” he asked, desperate to break the silence.

“Nah,” Connor said in that eerily monotone voice. 

The lack of enthusiasm and a general will to do anything were waving red flags all through his mind. Warning bells were going off at top volume, the silence deafening as he tried to think of the right things to say. Kevin knew the symptoms, knew them all too well and somehow it was a thousand times worse seeing them in Connor than in himself. Connor didn’t deserve to be depressed, he deserved the world and then some, if Kevin got to decide. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked carefully after a while, not wanting to push but at the same time desperate to help. 

“About what?” Connor’s eyes were tired. Did he not sleep again last night?

“How you’re feeling,” Kevin said softly. “Is something wrong?”

Connor let out a humorless laugh. “I don’t know, Kevin.”

He frowned. This was not like Connor. He didn’t like this at all. “Well, something’s up, at least. I can tell, you know.” Connor didn’t answer. “Look, I just- I just wanna help, Con. Is there anything I can do?”

Connor looked at him then, and for a second there were more emotions in his eyes than Kevin had seen since he got home, but they quickly vanished and Connor’s stare became empty and dull. He turned his head back to his phone and shrugged a quiet _not really_ as he continued scrolling. 

Kevin felt helpless, and he hated it more than anything in the world. 

“Connor, just talk to me,” he pleaded now, reaching out and placing a soft hand on Connor’s knee that got a brief glance, but a glance nonetheless. He waited, kept his hand in place and watched Connor’s face as he clenched and unclenched his jaw several times. 

Then suddenly, he shot up, making Kevin jump in his seat as Connor made for his bedroom without a word. 

Kevin’s heart sank all the way down to the first floor. 

It went on like that for a while, Connor’s mood would go from his usual sprightly self to complete apathy and Kevin just wanted to understand why. But Connor wouldn’t say, he’d lock himself in his room whenever Kevin even tried to bring it up, or simply brush him off and change the subject, clearly deflected and blatantly so. It was getting more frustrating than worrying after a while, and Kevin soon found himself at a loss for patience. If Connor didn’t want to talk about it then so be it. Kevin had tried, but he could only stand rejection so many times. 

He took a longer route home from school, and he wasn’t sure if he was just enjoying the bright sun or if he was delaying whatever was waiting back at the apartment. Truth be told, he’d never be able to turn a blind eye to Connor’s obvious calls for help, because that’s what they were, deep down, Kevin was sure. Hell, he’d lived those calls for help before. The apathy, the lackluster, the elusive behavior. And seeing the same signs in Connor was frustrating, sure, but way worse, it was _painful_. 

He just wanted to do right, by any means necessary. 

Twenty minutes later he arrived at the apartment, the silence both daunting and welcoming as he stepped inside. Connor’s shoes were still there, Chris’s weren’t, and he noticed Connor’s open bedroom door and peeked inside. 

It was empty, so he moved on, coming to an abrupt halt as he spotted Connor at the kitchen table, staring blankly at something in front of him. Kevin stopped breathing for a second. 

“What the fuck are you doing, Connor?” he swore, his voice louder and way harsher than he would have liked it to be. 

Connor didn’t look up from the bottle sitting on the table, his brows knitted closely together. “How do you do it?” he said, voice so faint Kevin could barely hear him. 

Kevin didn’t answer, but shot forward and grabbed the bottle, opening it as if it would give him any indication as to whether any pills were missing. “Did you take any?” he pressed, searching Connor’s body for scars, visible or not. 

Connor’s eyes were still glued to the spot on the table where the bottle had been standing. “No,” he whispered now, and Kevin’s anger faded faster than the wind. “I tried, but…”

Kevin instinctively reached out and grabbed his hand, hugging it with his own and hoping the gesture conveyed everything he couldn’t get his mouth to say. Connor closed his eyes then, squeezed them shut and Kevin wondered if he was pressing back tears but said nothing. It felt selfish, but seeing Connor be anything but apathetic made him breathe a sigh of relief. 

“I wanted to be happy,” Connor confessed with shaky words, his eyes still tightly shut and his hand gripping Kevin’s harder. 

“Connor,” Kevin started but had no idea how to finish, and he suddenly remembered a drunk Connor, weeks ago on the couch, stating to no one in particular that the meds made Kevin happy. For some reason that made it worse. Not only was Connor clearly hurting, but he’d rather seek help in Kevin’s medication than his presence. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Kevin,” Connor breathed as he opened his eyes, slightly damp and bright red. “I don’t know what to do.”

Kevin cursed himself for not having better answers locked and loaded. He’d felt this way, hopeless and as if the world was caving in, yet all he could muster was a croaked, “I’m sorry.”

Connor searched his eyes instead, and Kevin made sure he wouldn’t let go of his hand until they talked this through. “I hate communication studies,” Connor blurted then. “I fucking hate it, Kevin.” 

Confusion clouded Kevin’s eyes for a moment, but he quickly came to and realized Connor was finally opening up. “So change your major,” he said. “There’s still time.” 

Connor considered him, tilting his head slightly to one side. “To what? I don’t know what the hell I’m gonna do with my life, what I _want_ to do, really.”

“You like dancing,” Kevin remembered and Connor frowned.

“I’m not gonna make a living on tap-dance lessons I took in elementary school.”

“Singing?”

Connor let out a loud sigh. “I wanna do something _good_ , like you or Chris, I wanna- I wanna feel like whatever I do has meaning, you know?”

Kevin did. Part of the reason he’d stuck to wanting to become a teacher was knowing that he would be able to help people. Knowing that someday he could be the Mrs. Liebermann to juvenile Kevin Price and help shape a life, help someone find their voice and their way and their footing on a rapidly revolving earth. 

Then it hit him. “What about social work?” he said, earning an expectant yet curious look from Connor. “Yeah, you could work in counseling or health or with foster kids and, and you could help guide them through life, you’re good at that.”

Connor’s eyes drifted away in thought, focusing on a spot behind Kevin as the cogs in his brain were practically creaked to life. Kevin could see him considering it, but there was a hint of hesitation remaining on his face. “I don’t want to sit on a couch and listen to people complain,” he said after a moment and Kevin shook his head in response. 

“You don’t have to,” he assured. “I mean, you probably could, but it goes beyond that. Way, way beyond. I can show you if you want, UCF has a really good program.” 

Connor sat quietly, eyes locked to Kevin’s who desperately tried to read the expression on his face before he nodded slowly. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Kevin repeated, shooting to his feet to get his laptop from his bag. “Hang on.”

And Connor did. 

They spent the following two hours looking at different courses Connor could explore and Kevin’s chest felt a billion tons lighter when Connor finally smiled. He voiced a sheepish _thank you_ that Kevin could only respond with a hug. 

He held on longer than he knew was normal for roommates but he didn’t care, because Connor didn’t let go either. 

\--- 

Connor tapped a hesitant knock on his roommate’s door, his thoughts spiraling and he felt as though his head was on the wrong way round. All he could get his mind to focus on was Kevin and the other day, when he’d resorted to antidepressants that he couldn’t even make himself swallow. But Kevin had stayed, held his hands and reassured him even while Connor expected him to up and leave, move out and cut all ties. Kevin had stayed, and Connor could still feel his embrace tightly around him.

“It’s open,” Chris’s voice sounded through the door and Connor opened it with shaky hands. Chris was resting on his bed, his laptop by his side as he shot Connor a smile. “What’s up?”

“Can we talk,” Connor said, making Chris frown slightly as he gestured for Connor to come inside. 

“Of course,” he said once Connor closed the door behind him and sat down at the foot of Chris’s bed. “About what?”

Connor bit his lip, maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe Chris didn’t need to know about his feelings for their third roommate. Maybe that whole ordeal was best left alone. 

He took a deep breath, shaking the thoughts out of his head as he tried to get his mouth to work. Where would he even begin?

“Con,” Chris must’ve noticed his nerves because soon his hand was reassuring Connor’s trembling and he held on for dear life. “What’s wrong?”

“I think I have to move out.”

Chris froze, watching Connor intently as Connor tried his best to avoid his friend’s eyes. “Come again?” he said in total disbelief. 

“I just,” Connor sighed. It was too late to change his mind now. “I can’t do it anymore, Chris. I can’t be around him all the time. It’s too difficult.”

“Be around who? Kevin?” Chris blinked, before a microscopic smile curled his lips. “Wait, do you-“

“Have a fucking guess, Thomas,” Connor said, surprised when a stifled laugh bubbled out. 

Chris’s eyes grew wider, as did his smile and he shoved Connor by the shoulder as he shook his head. “Fucking hell, you had me thinking you were dying or something,” he said. “Shoulda known you just had the hots for someone.”

Connor rolled his eyes. “You know, those two don’t feel that different to me.”

Chris tilted his head, an unreadable look on his face as he watched Connor. There was something calming in the atmosphere, even though Connor still felt as if his entire body was inside out. Everything was wrong but at least Chris was there. At least one thing remained the same.

“You’re not serious about moving though, are you?” he said after a moment.

Connor shrugged. “What else am I gonna do?”

A humored scoff escaped Chris’s lips, making Connor glare. “Are you kidding me?”

“What?” Connor scrunched up his forehead, narrowing his eyes as he felt his patience coming to an abrupt stop. 

“Just tell him.”

Connor blinked. Now that was the dumbest thing he’d ever heard. Tell Kevin? Right, and how would that play out? He would just end up making things too awkward to bear and Kevin would feel uncomfortable around him and he’d ruin their friendship and god knows that was the last thing Connor wanted to do. If he moved, there was a chance that at least that part could still be salvaged. 

“No offense,” Connor said, “but that is the dumbest thing you’ve ever said.”

Chris gave him a dissatisfied look, letting out a quiet sigh before reaching out to take Connor’s hands in his. Connor nearly jerked away at the touch, but the feeling was soothing and perhaps exactly what he needed in this situation. “I know you’re not that blind,” Chris started, watching Connor intently as he spoke. “All you guys do is flirt, trust me, I’ve had to live with it for a year.”

“We don’t flirt,” Connor deadpanned, but even he didn’t believe those words. 

“Please, I may be an idiot but I’m not dumb,” Chris smirked. “That boy is as far gone as you are.”

“I- _what_ ,” Connor sputtered, his brain unable to form cohesive thoughts, let alone actual sentences. 

“You know, James thought you guys were a thing after we walked in on you cuddling on the couch,” he laughed. “Oh, which reminds me, could you ask him out before the semester ends?” Connor narrowed his eyes as Chris explained. “We have a bet.”

Connor scowled, though he couldn’t hide the small smile playing on his lips. He wasn’t sure what to make of anything right now, and the thoughts were soon snowballing in his head until his brain froze solid. Kevin Price did not _flirt_ with him, right? Those playful looks and snide comments were just friendly, surely. Because friends do that all the time. Friends let their friends sleep on their lap, friends find ways to touch and stare at each other, friends hold hands when one of them needs help. Connor glanced down to where Chris’s hand was still resting on his own and he quickly erased the last thought out of existence. Friends hold onto a hug just a bit too long than friends should. 

“What if you’re wrong,” Connor mumbled, playing with a loose thread in his shirt. 

“Then I’ll punch some sense into him,” Chris smiled, giving Connor a reassuring nudge. “Go get him.”

Connor considered it. Considered every scenario that could possibly play out and though some of them ended in total rejection and embarrassment, some didn’t and that was more than enough. “Could you go to James’s?” he blurted before thinking ahead, but Chris only grinned.

“Gee, McKinley,” he laughed. “Ask me for help and kick me out of my own home, why don’t you.”

Connor knew his eyes were pleading but in that moment, he didn’t care. Because his heart was racing and his lips trembling and Kevin was in his room across the hall and Chris said to go for it, so why the hell not. The newfound confidence – that might just be adrenaline now that he thought about it – was pulsing through his veins and it made his feet move before his brain had sent the signal and once Chris was out the front door he found himself outside Kevin’s room. 

Should he knock? Should he just barge in and kiss him? In hindsight, albeit only minutes of it, Connor realized he had no idea how this worked and that rush that had carried him to where he was standing was now keeping his feet frozen to the spot. 

He just had to do it. He just had to turn the doorknob and then figure out what comes next. He just had to- oh _fuck it_. 

Kevin’s head snapped to the door, eyeing Connor in what resembled shock and Connor found himself at a loss for words. After a moment, Kevin’s expression turned expectant and he turned away from the laundry he’d been folding on his bed and raised his eyebrows inquisitively. 

Connor took a step forward. Then another, and another, until they were close enough to touch each other and Kevin’s eyes were searching for an answer Connor didn’t possess. 

It had to be now. If not, Connor didn’t think he’d ever work the courage up again. 

“Tell me if you don’t want this,” he said as he closed the distance between them, cupping Kevin’s face as he pressed their lips together. 

Kevin’s body tensed and a flood of regret washed over Connor. He pulled back, avoiding Kevin’s eyes as he turned away in a hurry, but he didn’t get far because Kevin’s hand pulled him back by the wrist and this time Connor was the one to freeze as Kevin captured his lips again. He couldn’t believe it but melted into the kiss as Kevin pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around Kevin’s neck and shivering at Kevin’s wandering hands. 

It wasn’t the best kiss Connor had experienced, but it was by far the most meaningful and he wanted to stay in it forever. Kevin was gentle yet raw, alternating between slow kisses and gnashing teeth in a way that would have made Connor stop had it been anyone else. But it was Kevin Price and he could shamelessly admit that he would let that man do whatever he wanted with him now that he’d gotten a taste of what that meant. 

\--- 

They were laying on Kevin’s bed as the morning light forced its way through the window, and Kevin wasn’t sure if Connor was still sleeping but he stayed perfectly still just in case. It all felt so surreal, he barely remembered it happening but could see Connor’s face when he’d entered Kevin’s room last night vividly and replayed it over and over and over. He’d been so nervous; Kevin could tell and he’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been a bit timid as well. 

He could feel Connor moving then, tilting his head up from where it was resting on Kevin’s clothed chest and he blinked a few times before smiling meekly. “Hi,” he said softly and Kevin felt like the luckiest man alive.

“Hi,” he whispered back, Connor drawing circles on his chest. “Did you sleep well?”

Connor hummed in response; his eyelashes fluttering shut as curled up to Kevin. “For once, yeah,” he mumbled into Kevin’s shirt, glancing up again with a more hesitant look in his eyes. “Is this weird?”

Kevin wasn’t sure. This was all new to him, and yeah, that way it was kinda, sorta weird. But not in a worrying way, no, Kevin had never felt this sure about anything. “You make me feel things, McKinley,” he said, Connor watching expectantly. “Things I didn’t think I was able to.”

Connor’s expression flashed remorse for a brief moment as he sat up on the bed. “Because you’re straight,” he stated rather than asked, making Kevin’s brows furrow as his lip twitched involuntarily. 

“What makes you think that?”

“Well, for one you’ve never shown any interest in a guy, let alone me,” Connor shrugged dismissively, evading Kevin’s bewildered eyes. 

“Have I ever shown any interest in a girl?” he asked and Connor frowned in thought before turning back to look at him. 

“I guess not.”

Kevin smiled, reaching out to intertwine their fingers and Connor let him without question. “I thought I was ace, for the longest time,” he said. Connor cocked his head to one side as he considered Kevin. “It means asexual and-“

“I know what it means, Kevin,” Connor interrupted gently, offering a smile encouraging him to go on. 

“Right, well, it didn’t really bother me, you know, since I never really felt those things about anyone…” Kevin trailed off, feeling uncharacteristically shy. He’d never told anyone apart from his parents and his therapist, and even though they had been completely understanding, he’d avoided the subject most times someone else would bring it up. Connor was rubbing his thumb over Kevin’s knuckles, patiently waiting and Kevin felt overwhelmingly grateful. “And then I met you.”

Connor’s lips formed the warmest smile Kevin had ever seen and he wanted to etch it into his memory forever.

“And I don’t know what that means,” he continued, feeling sheepish and exposed. “I’m sorry if I’m, you know, slow,” he gestured dumbly between them, “I’ve heard the stories about you, McKinley.” Connor narrowed his eyes in confusion and Kevin explained with a grin. “Chris talks a lot.”

Connor rolled his eyes with a scoff. “I’m never telling him anything again,” he said before his expression turned soft again. “We don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, you know.” 

Kevin offered an appreciative look but pulled Connor closer, whether subconsciously or not, he wasn’t certain. “I just don’t know how this works,” he whispered when Connor was only inches away, his eyes filling with a palpable desire that made Kevin’s head spin.

“Do you want me to show you?” he spoke softly, his breath hot against Kevin’s skin and Kevin could only nod in response. 

Slowly, Connor leaned forward and closed the distance between them. The kiss was tender and sweet, Kevin trying to mimic the way Connor’s lips moved against his own, finding the rhythm as Connor’s tongue danced in his mouth. He dug his fingers into Connor’s hair, smiling when a soft moan escaped his lips and his eyes flicked open to watch Connor’s face for a second, just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. 

The pace picked up slightly and Kevin had even dared to match Connor’s exploring tongue and he didn’t know something so wet and sloppy could be so beautiful. It wasn’t until Connor’s hand traveled down his body that he tensed, and Connor instantly pulled the finger that had crept beneath his waistband back. “Sorry,” he said, abashed as he pulled away, but Kevin held on to his shoulders, afraid he’d run away if he didn’t.

“Can we just, keep it above the waist for now?” he smiled carefully and Connor nodded. “I think I want to, it’s just, I kinda have to get used to kissing first,” he said with a small laugh. “It’s weird, really.”

“Not a very nice thing to say to the person you were just kissing,” he bubbled. Connor’s laugh might just be Kevin’s new favorite sound.

“No, I mean, it _is_ weird if you think about it. Like having someone’s tongue _inside_ your mouth, think about the germs, I’m not just sharing your saliva, I’m practically kissing every person you’ve ever kissed.”

Connor watched with an amused grin as he crept closer. “Does it help knowing I kissed a guy dressed up as the Little Mermaid for Halloween once?” he whispered and Kevin let out a bewildered snort. “You know, ‘cause you like Disney and all that.”

“Jesus, McKinley, that is, not at all,” he laughed. “That doesn’t help one- _hey-_ ” Connor shut him up with his lips and Kevin didn’t argue. Connor was gentle and caring and didn’t push but kissed him slowly, allowing Kevin to explore and hesitate and explore again, hands soft and careful, always asking permission before traveling to low and Kevin would let them eventually, but for now he just wanted to drown in the ocean of Connor’s eyes and kiss himself breathless.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was long, wow. I've had this baby in my mind for a while now and it's been a nice break - and total distraction - from writing my thesis. Connor's doubt about communication studies is not at all just me projecting, nah no way. 
> 
> Either way, I hope you liked it, and feel free to leave a comment or kudos if you did! It really is the best motivator a gal could ask for.


End file.
